Dire-logue’s Greatest Hits Volume 8: Nudge, wink

Oh, aren’t we sometimes just so clever with our little in-jokes and gags that you only get if you’re in on it?

Because so many horror films have been written to cater for people with double-digit IQs, many of these little pokes and winks at the audience are bloody obvious, and some of them are just crap. As always, regardé…

ALONE (2000): “So… you’ve got Freddy Krueger as an admirer?”

BRIDE OF CHUCKY (1998): “I knew you were obsessed, but Chucky? He’s so… eighties.”

CAMP DAZE (2005): “Backwoods, scary noises – haven’t you heard of Jason?”

CHILDREN OF THE CORN IV (1996): “I don’t want to be the one in charge when their heads are doing 360s and they’re hurling pea soup.”

DARK RIDE (2006): “Why [do their names] always have to be Jonah, or Jason, or Jedidiah? I mean why can’t it be Bob, or Gus or even Chris?”

EVIL BREED (2003): “If you leave you’ll disappear – just like every other B-movie character does!”

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI (1986): “I’ve seen enough horror movies to know that any weirdo wearing a mask is never friendly.”

THE HILLS RUN RED (2009): “The characters always head out to the middle of nowhere, right? Suddenly their cars, their cell phones, their technology can’t save them and nobody ever brings a fucking gun!”

ICED (1988): “It was one of those flicks where you only watch if someone’s naked or getting killed. Or both.”

THE NUN (2005): “so let me get this straight: Are you trying to tell me that all this is some sort of I Know What You Did 18 Summers Ago or something?”

OFFERINGS (1988): “How come people in these horror movies do such stupid things?”

SKELETON CREW (2009): “Somehow we’re inside a film – a horror film! That’s why things have gone like they have.”

TO BECOME ONE (2000): “We’re playing this out like some B-grade movie. Five kids locked away in some isolated shack. When the killer finds us he’s going to pick us off one by one.”

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What does this teach us? Sometimes, witty observations are funny. And that Kevin Williamson has a lot to answer for.

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