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100 favourite slasher movie characters – Part III

October 6, 2022 Hud Leave a comment

There’s no order to this, just a celebration of my fave characters over the years, largely (but not entirely) ignoring final girls and killers. (Some spoilers though – boooo).

MRS VOORHEES

Played by Betsy Palmer

In Friday the 13th (1980)

Why? The mom of all moms – in horror terms at least – woe to the first-time viewer of Friday the 13th who assumed the killer would be grizzly dude in a mask, but turned out to be the kindly middle-aged lady who is part-possessed by the spirit of her ‘dead’ son.

Quote? “Come dear… it’ll be easier for you than it was for Jason.”

ARCH

Played by Thomas F. Wilson

In April Fool’s Day (1986)

Why? Jocks who just want to get laid in slasher films usually evoke very little sympathy, as they usually have very little character. April Fool’s Day is an irregularity in this regard, giving us a bunch of college kids with added depth and, consequently, likeability.

Quote? “I’m on a mission here, a mission to bed as many women as humanly possible.”

TARYN

Played by Jennifer Rubin

In A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

Why? Of the ‘Dream Warrior’ kids at Westin Hills hospital, recovering addict Taryn was easily my favourite. Edgy and sarcastic, but resolute and determined, she’s ready to take Freddy on.

Quote? “In my dreams I’m beautiful… and bad.”

MINDY

Played by Jasmine Savoy Brown

In Scream (2022)

Why? As niece of Randy Meeks, Mindy slides effortlessly into his place (and Kirby’s) as the walking Wiki on horror convention, being the one to discern that the new killer is making a ‘requel’ this time, and later getting to be part of a sort of infinity mirror moment as she advises Randy’s Stab character to turn around while he advises Jamie Lee Curtis to turn around, all the while herself needing to turn around…

Quote? “You need to build something new. But not too new or the Internet goes bug-fucking-nuts.”

NATALIE

Played by Alicia Witt

In Urban Legend (1998)

Why? As far as final girls go in the 90s slasher cycle, Alicia Witt gave it a slightly reserved skew to distinguish Natalie from Sidney Prescott’s ass-kickery and Jennifer Love Hewitt’s squealing. As a flawed, slightly self-righteous character, she’s more interesting than most of her contemporaries and a major selling point for the movie.

Quote? “This was someone’s life, Paul. Did you ever stop to think about that?”

RICKY

Played by Justin Chong

In Hack! (2007)

Why? Gay characters had been sorely absent from horror throughout the 80s (unless they were the killer), so once the 00s came around it was great to see an influx of theatrical boys in the ranks. Ricky camps it up nicely, singing Fame to stave off the scares as he waits alone in the woods on an island with more than one homicidal maniac running around on it.

MARCIA & RALPH

Played by Marilyn Kagan & Trey Stroud

In The Initiation (1983)

Why? Another film with surprisingly well drawn characters, Marcia is the sex-phobic pledge Ralph the wannabe comedian who eventually shows his sensitive side in a sweet shared scene – and then both are immediately killed.

Quote? “[Sex] again?” / “It’s customary at our age.”

BUB

Played by Burr Steers

In Intruder (1988)

Why? As far as horror movie stoners go, Burr has got to be near the top of the stack. Near-continuously zoned out from his duties, he meets a very nasty end, but was hopefully too spaced to really notice.

Quote? “I swear to God. If my brother hadn’t hit him in the head repeatedly with a blender, he would’ve killed me!”

JANELLE

Played by Anna Faris

In Lovers Lane (1999)

Why? Another archetype is the slutty cheerleader character. However, in Lovers Lane, pre-stardom Anna Faris makes Janelle a friendly new-girl whose death-by-hook feels unjustly cruel.

MRS SLATER

Played by Lois Kelso Hunt

In The House on Sorority Row (1982)

Why? Cranky housemother Mrs Slater rules the Pi Theta sorority with an iron fist – and iron cane. Permanently annoyed, her inflexibility quite literally becomes the death of her. Gotta love these no-bull matriarch types though. Her in a girl group with Mother Superior and Mrs Voorhees would be awesome.

Quote? “If that gun is real, all you girls are going to be in real trouble.”

Lists

100 favourite slasher movie characters – Part II

July 12, 2022 Hud 2 comments

There’s no order to this, just a celebration of my fave characters over the years, largely (but not entirely) ignoring final girls and killers. (Some spoilers though – boooo).

RADISH

Played by Joel S. Rice

In Final Exam (1981)

Why? Adhering to many-a-trope of the campus nerd, Radish is a rather scrawny know-all, however rather than being a second reel kill, he’s kinda promoted to the hero role as he discovers the murders and does his best to alert crush Courtney to the danger. Crush, you say? Well, there’s that barely obscured trait of him being more than just a little bit camp. Horror’s first final gay? Almost.

Quote: “It’s happening! The psychopaths are here!”

MELISSA

Played by Susan Jennifer Sullivan

In Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

Why? Fabulously evil Melissa is as socially destructive as Jason is violent. All pearls and high end boutique clothing, she functions mainly to try and thwart weepy heroine Tina’s closeness with Nick, not notice her rapidly disappearing friends, and cop and axe to the face as the film’s last victim.

Quote: “Like has nothing to do with it.”

CHRIS FINN

Played by Desmond Harrington

In Wrong Turn (2003)

Why? One of those ‘clipped’ personalities, Chris is the man who takes the wrong turn that escorts him into a nightmare. Grounded, logical, and a lil bit badass, he doesn’t do a whole lot of emoting, but comes through in the end.

Quote: “C’mon, you motherfuckers… just die.”

MOTHER SUPERIOR

Played by Lilyan Chauvin

In Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

Why? The epitome of all cliches around a psychologically abusive adult, Mama Sups makes the young life of little Billy hellish, becoming his desired final victim. Despite her counter-evil evilness, there’s something endlessly compelling about the way Chauvin plays it, which, dare I say, is a performance too goo for the film it’s in.

Quote: “I see only greed where there should be gratitude.”

KIRBY REED

Played by Hayden Panettiere

In Scream 4 (2011)

Why? Losing Randy Meeks in Scream 2 was traumatic, so his torch was passed to the next gen and wielded by dry-witted Kirby, walking horror almanac for the class of 2011. Although plans for the immediate sequel never went anywhere, news that she did indeed survive and will return for Scream 6 was fantastically received.

Quote: “It was the voice from Stab, or… y’know, your life.”

LYNDA

Played by P.J. Soles

In Halloween (1978)

Why? She’s the original carefree friend. The one who smokes pot, likes premarital sex, and doesn’t really give a damn about the possible consequences of her actions. But really, who doesn’t think Lynda is just totally awesome?

Quote: “Totally.”

SHELLY

Played by Larry Zerner

In Friday the 13th Part III (1982)

Why? The original slasher movie prankster; Shelly just wants to catch up with his better looking mates and find a girl who likes him. When that doesn’t work out, the annoying pranks come out instead. But he’s clearly got a heart of gold and we owe him for furnishing Jason with his mask.

Quote: “They said they were going skinny dipping and I’m not skinny enough.”

JAZELLE GAY HARTMAN

Played by Patricia Belcher

In Jeepers Creepers (2001)

Why? A local psychic who sees the terrible fate awaiting Darry or Trish Jenner and does her best to warn them of the danger with an unsettling call to a diner they stop at. Sadly, as she receives her future information out of sequence, it’s all gibberish. By the time she physically catches up with them at the PoHo County Police Station, her insights are too little, too late.

Quote: “You know what it eats and don’t you make me tell you!”

Played by Timothy Webber

In Terror Train (1980)

Why? Boyfriend characters are usually a bit lacklustre in slasher films, and while Mo doesn’t get the chance to play hero at any time to protect Alana (Jamie Lee Curtis), punch out his manipulative ‘best bud’, or indeed ever be consciously aware of the killer’s presence, there’s a likeability to the character lacking in many other contemporaries, thanks in main to the additional care that went into Terror Train‘s script.

Quote: “I’ll get you for this one Doc …I mean it this time.”

SISSY

Played by Renee Jones

In Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

Why? Part of the new counselling staff at Camp ~~Crystal Lake~~ Forest Green, Sissy is the fun, insightful one but, because she’s a camp counsellor, is doomed. She just exudes mid-80s awesomeness though.

Quote: “Think I’d rather deal with ol’ Jason.”

Lists

100 favourite slasher movie characters – Part I

June 16, 2022 Hud Leave a comment

There’s no order to this, just a celebration of my fave characters over the years, largely (but not entirely) ignoring final girls and killers. (Some spoilers though – boooo).

Less go!

BARB

Played by Margot Kidder (R.I.P.)

In Black Christmas (1974)

Why? As the perma-drunk sister of the sorority, fastest tongue in the west Barb is not afraid to bring the drama, from aggravating the loon who has been plaguing the house with obscene calls to calling out people on their shit and pranking the local sergeant.

Quote: “Darling… you can’t rape a townie.”

* children of the corn isaac john franklin 1984 ISAAC

Played by John Franklin

In Children of the Corn (1984)

Why? Leader of the adult-hating kiddie-cult that resides in Gatlin, Nebraska, Isaac is a scheming little con-man, prone to camp hissy fits when he clashes with tyrannical deputy, Malachai. Endlessly entertaining.

Quote: “He speaks to me always …bitch!” (OK I added that last part, but if you watch the scene you’ll know it’s needed).

KAY-EM 14

Played by Lisa Ryder

In Jason X (2001)

Why? In a crowded, anonymous cast, android Kay-Em stands out amongst the pale archetypes as the (ever perky) single hope the crew has to neutralize the threat of Jason, which she does with cutesy enthusiasm.

Quote: “I’m afraid I’m gonna have to hurt you now.”

ELAINE PARKER

Played by Brooke Bundy

In A Nightmare on Elm Street’s 3–4 (1987/88)

Why? Short-tempered, wannabe socialite mother of Kristen, Mrs Parker is what we might today call a typical Karen: She won’t listen to anybody, just whips out the chequebook. I do like, in the series, that the guilty parents are left alive to suffer the loss of their kids, whereas most other series’ would simply kill off arrogant, unpleasant type.

Quote: “Kristen, get away from that house! Andale!”

MICKEY

Played by Timothy Olyphant

In Scream 2 (1997)

Why? One of many background suspects with minimal impact until he’s revealed to be one of the killers, film-obsessed Mickey wants to be caught to manipulate America’s trial-fixated culture by blaming ‘the movies’ and getting right wing Christian groups to pay his legal bills. Frighteningly, this doesn’t seem that unlikely.

Quote: “It’s bullshit generalisation – many sequels have surpassed the originals.”

JUDY

Played by Karen Fields

In Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Why? Sour teen Judy is the girl all the boys lust after at Camp Arawak – but she’s a total bitch! Her jealousy over attention afforded to shy Angela sets her on a path of nastiness that culminates with death-by-curling-iron.

Quote: “She’s a carpenter’s dream: Flat as a board and needs a good screw!”

REESE

Played by Loretta Devine

In Urban Legend 1–2 (1998/2000)

Why? Something of a rarity in slasherdom was the security guard who isn’t an early casualty of the killing spree; Reese is among the first to suspect something fishy going on at Pendleton U, but is shut down by the Dean, and the ultimately plays a hand in saving the day. Twice.

Quote: “Get up against the wall… you looney, psycho bitch!”

ALEX BROWNING

Played by Devon Sawa

In Final Destination (2000)

Why? High schooler Alex’s journey from Joe Nobody to prescient hero makes for an interesting change to the customary midwestern white girl lead in teen horror. He’s likeable without being too earnest and heroic without being annoying and improbably macho.

Quote: “[We will remove you from this aircraft]” / “Fuck you, I’ll remove myself!”

SETH

Played by Vincent Van Patten

In Hell Night (1981)

Why? Frat guys in slasher films are usually douches, and while Seth is largely transfixed with getting into Denise’s pants, once the threat is revealed, he switches into hero mode to save his friends, ultimately at the cost of his own demise.

Sad times.

Quote: “If you weren’t screaming… and we weren’t screaming… then somebody’s trying to mind-fuck us.”

BRENDA

Played by Laurie Bartram (R.I.P.)

In Friday the 13th (1980)

Why? The ‘sensible girl’ at Camp Crystal Lake, Brenda combines smouldering Hollywood Golden Era looks with an endearing, hard-working personality, that likely made her fun to be around.

Quote: “Fat chance, you’re two steps for Pacific Avenue and Skin City!”

Lists

Recurring Nightmare

April 13, 2021 Hud Leave a comment

BAD DREAMS

1988/18/84m

“When Cynthia wakes up, she’ll wish she were dead.”

Director/Writer: Andrew Fleming / Writers: Michael Dick, P.J. Pettiette, Yuri Zeltser, Steven E. de Souza / Cast: Jennifer Rubin, Bruce Abbott, Harris Yulin, Richard Lynch, Dean Cameron, Susan Ruttan, Damita Jo Freeman, E.G. Daily, Susan Barnes, Louis Giambalvo, Sheila Scott Wilkinson, Sy Richardson.

Body Count: 9 (+24)

Laughter Lines: “If you wanna fit in with the 80s, you’re at least two divorces, a condo, and a yeast infection behind the times.”

Of all the Elm Street rip-offs, just a glance a the name and details of this should tell you it’s one of the most overt. Although, being pedantic about it, Bad Dreams targets Elm Street 3 for much of its pilfer source, not least by casting from that movie Jennifer Rubin (who played ex-junkie Taryn) as the lead.

Rubin is Cynthia, the sole survivor of a mass-suicide at the Unity Fields cult in 1975, where self-styled prophet Harris (Lynch) poured ladles of gasoline over his flock before burning them and himself to death. Thirteen years later (finally not five, ten, or twenty!) Cynthia wakes from a coma and is placed into the mental care of Dr Alex Carmen and joins his therapy group of oddballs to assist her integration into the 80s (see Laughter Lines).

Among the other group members are anger-prone Ralph, sex obsessed couple Ed and Connie, seldom spoken Lana, jittery journalist Miriam, and Gilda, who just mutters stuff about destiny. Their issues aren’t particularly clear or realised well, unlike the Dream Warriors kids, where individual personalities were nailed down with ease by Craven’s script.

Cynthia neither fits in, nor wants to be there, but when she starts to see her dead cult leader in elevator or walking down the corridors, she thinks he’s come back for her to complete the transition to the next plane of existence blah blah blah. These visions coincide with the apparent suicides of the other group members, who drown, fall out of high-storey windows, and in one icky case throw themselves into a giant ventilation fan, causing blood rain throughout the clinic.

The cops who have been waiting thirteen years for answers around the cult’s demise see Cynthia as the common link between the deaths, despite the fact she has alibis for each, Dr Carmen is fired, and Cynthia put into isolation where ~~Freddy~~ Harris can get to her more easily.

At this point, Bad Dreams releases its twist, revealing circumstances to be much more earthbound than we’ve been led to believe. It’s unexpected and a decent deception, but it renders a majority of the film redundant and leads to a soggy climax that feels half-baked before the credits just start rolling and Sweet Child O’ Mine kicks in.

It’s a bit of an ‘Oh… okay’ moment, but the film is at least well made, boasts some interesting supporting characters and witty dialogue here and there. The flashback scene to the cult wilfully burning their own faces is intensely and unsettling. More time with the therapy group characters would’ve added some sorely missing depth to proceedings and meat for the actors to get their teeth into.

So how much does it borrow from Kruegertown?

Set on a psychiatric care ward a la Dream Warriors
Heroine repeatedly taken back to a creepy old house in her dreams/flashbacks
Death by fire
Ghoulish otherworldly stalker who the ‘adults’ can’t see (sometimes) appears all burnt up
Cynthia put into isolation ‘for her own good’
Doctor dismissed by hospital for getting too involved
Two cast members from Elm Street movies appear

Blurbs-of-interest: Harris Yulin was later in Wes Craven’s My Soul to Take; Richard Lynch was in Laid to Rest, Curse of the Forty-Niner, and Rob Zombie’s Halloween re-do; Charles Fleischer, the doctor from Elm Street 1, appears here briefly as the pharmacist.

Reviews

Slashifying the Classics

June 13, 2019 Hud 2 comments

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

1989/18/89m

“Only love and music are forever.”

Director: Dwight H. Little / Writers: Gaston Leroux & Duke Sandefur / Cast: Robert Englund, Jill Schoelen, Alex Hyde-White, Bill Nighy, Stephanie Lawrence, Terence Harvey, Nathan Lewis, Peter Clapham, Molly Shannon.

Body Count: 10

Laughter Lines: “Everybody dies. I only choose the time and place for a few.”

Robert Englund likely sailed through any audition process to play another homicidal burn victim, in the 83rd take on the Gaston Leroux novel – although any associations with the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical are mercifully absent.

One-time scream queen Jill Schoelen is Christine, a young operative vocalist who spins back to her previous life in nineteenth century London after a bang on the head at an audition. When the Phantom scares the wits out of the Faust Diva, Christine takes over, while the Phantom knocks off anyone who gets in the way of her success.

Largely shot in Budapest, the slasher elements are brought to the fore, with victims decapitated, gutted, and impaled in several gruesome scenes, that were significantly cut down to avoid an X-rating. The producer almost bankrupted himself pouring money into the film, which subsequently tanked.

Despite this, Englund looks to relish flexing his acting muscle without having a razor glove attached to him, and Elemer Ragalyi’s lush photography fashions a fine looking film. The cast, too, is peppered with recognisable faces and before-they-were-famous names. Perhaps the concept of and upgraded slasher film or downgraded classic, depending how you look at it, is what killed it in the end, but at least it makes for an arty and credible diversion from the usual teens-at-a-party slasher fare. A sequel planned to take place in New York (The Phantom Takes Manhattan?) starring Englund was eventually canned.

Blurbs-of-interest: Aside from playing Freddy Krueger in eight movies, Englund can also be found in Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, Hatchet, Heartstopper, Urban Legend, and Natty Knocks; Schoelen was in The Stepfather, Cutting Class, and Popcorn; Terence Harvey was later in similar 19th century slasher variant From Hell; Dwight H. Little directed Halloween 4 the previous year.

Reviews

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