NATTY KNOCKS

  2023/95m

Director: Dwight Little / Writer: Benjamin Olson

Cast: Bill Moseley, Charlotte Fountain-Jardim, Thomas Robie, Noen Perez, Danielle Harris, Channah Zeitung, Robert Englund, Amit Sarin, Jason James Richter, Will Murden.

Body Count: 5

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Dwight Little turned out what’s commonly regarded as one of the better Halloween sequels with 1988’s The Return of Michael Myers, and then the following year a slasher version of The Phantom of the Opera. So when you see his name alongside actors Danielle Harris, Bill Moseley, and crucially Robert Englund, you’d be forgiven for expecting something pretty damn special.

Alas, Natty Knocks is an endurance test from start to finish.

At Halloween, 1976, a group of angry housewives decide to take revenge on the titular local B-movie actress and town ho, who’s bedded all of their husbands and, they believe, practices witchcraft. As she burns in a shed, she screams that she’ll be back for revenge.

47 years later – finally, not a multiple of five! – hard-up teens stealing copper to hawk for cash inadvertently spy a man ragging on a teenage girl through a window. When the girl is reported missing, they second guess their initial assumption of a domestic, but don’t want top get themselves in trouble. Eventually, teen babysitter Britt learns of this and goes to the cops. But the cop that she goes to is the assailant, who spends his time watching Natty’s movies projected on to a sheet.

After an hour, during which there’s only been one kill, things start to happen, but it’s so muddled and rudderless it’s almost impossible to tell what’s going on. Characters who previously seemed to have only the most vague connections to others are revealed to live with them, there’s a demon that appears behind doors, some people are abducted and forced to watch the B-movies. Why? I dunno, some possession thing so she can return to life. It really wasn’t clear.

With a victim count of just three, there are around 6-7 characters milling around at the end, and no real sense of closure to anything. So much time is spent around this bizarre copper-theft plan, that there’s almost no time remaining when the main act should be in full swing, and things fizzle out disappointingly.

A waste of talent.

Blurbs-of-interest: Both Englund and Harris are in Urban Legend together, and both Harris and Moseley are in Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet together; Englund played Freddy Krueger in eight Elm Street movies, and is also in Heartstopper, Behind the Mask, Hatchet, and The Phantom of the Opera. Danielle Harris was also in Camp Dread, ChromeSkull: Laid to Rest 2, The Town That Dreaded Sundown, See No Evil 2, Hatchet‘s 2-4, and four different Halloween instalments. Moseley was also in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and Texas Chainsaw 3D, Home Sick, and Silent Night Deadly Night 3.