Walk like a Scarecrowey-thing


2 Stars  2003/15/81m

“You were right to fear…Dark Walker.”

Director: Danny Draven / Writer: Dan Jacobs / Cast: Kathleen Susan Taylor, Michael Sage, David DeWitt, Brenda Matthews, Rick Irvin, Emily van Sonnenberg, Brad Potts, Jill Small, Clive Hawkins, Ali Taylor, Ivan Glenn Hall, Chuck Williams.

Body Count: 12

Dire-logue: “You know they call orgasms ‘little deaths’… I want a little death tonight.”

A cursed patch of land in California was the scene of a gruesome beheading in 1878 when a farmer snatched a pumpkin that unleashed a scarecrow-like figure.

125 years later, said land is renovated by a couple who build a sort of mini theme park with a Halloween Haunted House centrepiece and employ several local teens to work inside.

Because the sacred land has again been desecrated, the Dark Walker is given free reign to slaughter those it deems responsible, i.e. the teens.

Throw in psychic heroine Maggie and a ghostly caretaker and it’s a part nobody will forget, least of all because the film knocks off just about everyone, including the nominal hero, except Maggs, and ends with one of those abrupt what-the-fuck shocks that are normally there to paper over the lack of exposition…although in this case the credits promise Dark Walker 2 will follow.

Like all of these “you are SO doomed” flicks, the cast are well aware of the growing body count and still refuse to opt out of returning to the house of death because they need the dough.

As far as cheap, amateurish DVD horror goes it’s not that bad. There’s enough gore without going overboard, even if it is largely buckets of gunk thrown at the nearest wall by production runners.

8 years and counting and no sign of this alleged sequel!

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