BLOOD SISTERS

   1985/18/83m

“A haunted whorehouse of horror.”

Director/Writer: Roberta Findlay / Cast: Amy Brentano, Shannon McMahon, Dan Erickson, Marla Machart, Elizabeth Rose, Cjerste Thor, Patricia Finneran, Gretchen Kingsley, Brigette Cossu, Randall Walden.

Body Count: 11

Dire-logue: “And now like any good horror film, the van won’t start.”

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See that drop shadow effect on the word ‘Blood’ – how annoying is it that the insides of the O’s have been neglected?

Another college initiation in another creepy old house with a dodgy past. Garth Manor, the Fairchild Mall, that asylum in Happy Hell Night, we’ve been here before…

This time it’s an abandoned brothel where a double murder occurred THIRTEEN years ago. If it’s not one, five, ten or twenty – it’s always thirteen. Now – or rather 1985 – seven off-the-shelf sorority pledges (slutty one, sensible one, sarcastic one, bespectacled one who’s constantly in a state of terror and can’t see shit the moment her glasses fall off…) must go there on a scavenger hunt.

Why these kids fail to expect the arrival of the also off-the-shelf psycho murderer is a mystery as, according to the Dire-logue, they’re at least aware of horror movie cliches.

The loon dresses up as a hooker (but instead resembles a giant sheet in a strong breeze) and interrupts the fun by bumping them all off. Yeah that’s right, all of them. Nobody makes it out of Blood Sisters. Even that freaky-ass rocking horse probably got slashed to ribbons!

Despite almost nothing happening for the first hour, BS isn’t all BS; one girl with a knack for running legs it for help and returns in the morning with the cops in tow. When they find nothing, they tell her to do one and bugger off, culminating in an amusingly cruel twist.

Otherwise, the effects are bad – check the crappy doll that takes a tumble over the banister – and the acting talents of the young starlets could’ve been refined somewhat, but it fills a hole if you want a decent unintentional laugh, but for slashtastic thrills, go for The Initiation instead.

Blurb-of-interest: Shannon McMahon was later in this film’s male counterpart, Pledge Night.