Tag Archives: the 80s

Murder House Goes to Camp

american horror story 1984

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: 1984

2.5 Stars  2019/377m

Created by: Ryan Murphy & Brad Falchuk / Cast: Emma Roberts, Billie Lourd, Leslie Grossman, Cody Fern, Matthew Morrison, Gus Kenworthy, John Carroll Lynch, Angelica Ross, Zach Villa, DeRon Horton, Lily Rabe, Dylan McDermott, Mitch Pileggi, Lou Taylor Pucci.

Body Count: 66-ish

Laughter Lines: “Girls are red, boys are blue. Don’t try to make purple.”


Before being mercifully put out of its (and our) misery, Ryan Murphy’s earlier attempt at a slasher TV show, Scream Queenswas slated to have a season set at a summer camp. However, people ran faster from it than celebrities from a Trump endorsement proposition, and it never came to be. Big spoilers.

In all likelihood, many of those ideas were exported to the far more wide-reaching American Horror Story, for its ninth season. While I only saw the first three seasons of the anthology series before I moved abroad, I heard it was starting to struggle after a while. I picked up at Apocalypse (the eighth year), which I found fine in its own batshit crazy way, and hoped for a good slasher-based yarn in 1984, to be set at a summer camp. YAY.

american horror story 1984

While far from the sledgehammer-to-the-screen inviting disaster that was Scream Queens, 1984 is nevertheless something of a chaotic mess, that plays out like the ideas tank was empty after just a few episodes and so the writers just began tacking on ‘the other massacre’ that occurred even before the previous other one. But wouldn’t someone have already mentioned that?? Apparently not.

In 1970, the janitor at Camp Redwood, CA, slices up the inhabitants of a cabin. Known as Mr Jingles, the loon is put away and the camp is re-opened fourteen years later by the sole survivor, questionably unhinged puritan, Margaret (Grossman). Due to the camp’s rep around those parts, she can only attract a few counsellors, in the shape of a group of friends from LA: wannabe actor Xavier, failed athlete Chet, nice-guy orderly Ray, aerobic instructor Montana, and newbie Brooke (Emma Roberts not doing her acid-tongued schtick for a change), who agrees to go at the last minute, when she’s attacked in her apartment by the Nightstalker serial killer, Richard Ramirez, who swears he’ll track her down. They’re joined there by the activities director Trevor, Nurse Rita, Chef Bertie, and a delirious hippie they accidentally ran over nearby.

american horror story 1984

Being 1984, the entirety of the backdrop is swimming in big hair, spandex, and people saying ‘rad’ a lot. Of course, Mr Jingles escapes his institute on the same day and heads back to camp, arriving at the same time as Richard Ramirez, and the bloodbath is underway pretty damn quickly, with a few intermittent flashbacks to the questionable lives of the counsellors, who have been engaged in hazing accidents, steroid abuse, and wedding day murder-suicides.

That all of this occurred in the first episode, I was concerned 1984 would run out of creative kills and Ghostbusters jokes too soon. The first five episodes are set almost entirely during that first night, and it’s clear (all too soon) that there’s a supernatural element at work, as people who die seem to reappear alive and well. Anyone who remembers the first season, Murder House, will recall that those who haunt said abode died there, and are forever stuck within its walls. Well, Camp Redwood is the same: You die there, you’re stuck there. Although later rules around not being able to leave the camp were thwarted in the very first episode when the hippie character was on the road outside…

american horror story 1984

Things fast forward to 1989 as Brooke, sent down for the murders, faces her death sentence, while Margaret – revealed to be the real culprit – tries to capitalise on her ownership of the place by holding a music festival there with the intention of killing everyone who comes to it (Kajagoogoo are the unfortunate first arrivals). Mr Jingles is forced to abandon martial bliss to return to Redwood to clear his name and end the horror for good. Brooke comes back (after the strangest roller-rink scene, which allegedly makes five years in prison all better). Ramirez comes back. Another killer turns up too.

While things wrap up neatly at the end of episode nine, it couldn’t feel more obvious that whomever was running this show gave up to some degree. Somewhere in the middle, it’s revealed that there was another massacre at the camp in 1950, when Mr Jingles’ mom went berserk after her other son died in the lake, but this goes curiously unmentioned by anyone up to this point. Then, the ‘thirty years later’ arc at the end, Emma Roberts appears absolutely unaltered, with a throwaway line about fillers to excuse the fact a woman who should be in her 50s looks exactly the same as she did in her 20s. Honestly, there’s literally no ageing makeup in sight.

american horror story 1984

Billie Lourd gives a good speech about women being blamed for the violent crimes perpetrated by men, which would be an awesome summary if the sequence of events in 1984 didn’t trace back to the rage of a woman, who then convinces another woman to embark on a killing spree and frame a man for it.

OK enough moaning. There is some fun stuff here, most of it early on in the more Friday the 13th-ey episodes: Brooke’s frantic chase through the camp, the payphone ominously ringing outside in the storm, Shocker‘s Mitch Pileggi as the clinic warden, and the Halloween homage with the lunatics running amok. Trademark bitchy-dialogue from Ryan Murphy’s favourite actresses is somewhat reigned in, but there are some cute gags throughout: “What do people think of the 80s? Did Judd Nelson ever get his Oscar?”

american horror story 1984

In a meta-way, 1984 showcases over nine episodes the kind of deranged chop-and-change effect that killed the at-the-start awesome Glee, when it seemed that those writing the show had a much lower boredom threshold than anybody watching it, so flipped around romantic partners, character motivations, and allegiances on an almost weekly basis. Here, the frenetic “let’s add another killer!”, “let’s add another massacre!” goes way beyond even the worst written slasher films of the 1980s.

Blurbs-of-interest: Roberts and Lourd were in Scream Queens; Roberts was also in Scream 4.

Where’s Buffy when you need her?

the slayer 1981

THE SLAYER

3 Stars  1982/18/86m

“Is it a nightmare? Or is it… The Slayer?”

A.k.a. Nightmare Island

Director/Writer: J.S. Cardone / Writer: William R. Ewing / Cast: Sarah Kendall, Frederick Flynn, Carol Kottenbrook, Alan McRae, Michael Holmes.

Body Count: 5

Laughter Lines: “You’re spending too much time alone on these islands. What you need is a companion… A woman! …Or maybe a dog.”


I hated The Slayer when I first saw a dingy old VHS copy in 1999. It was cut, it was slow, it annoyed me. In the intervening years I was always perplexed by the love some people had for it, but continued avoiding a re-watch …until last month and now, look, three stars woo!

Perhaps if it had done a little better at the box office (an edited version ran as a double header with Scalps), there would have been more than a little credit pushed in its direction for it’s proto-Nightmare on Elm Street tendencies, as we’re dealing with a monster that’s dreamed into existence when kooky artist Kay, who dreams and paints the bloody futures of herself, her husband, her brother and his wife.

the slayer 1982 alan mcrae

Taking up an offer of a week at a remote beach house on an uninhabited isle (“it’s surrounded by water!” gorps one of them) from a work friend, the two couples fly in and hike to the sexy homestead. Eric just wants to fish; Brooke wants to sunbathe; and David is worried about Kay’s mental well being. Sucks to be him when he goes to investigate ye olde strange noise coming from the basement and ends up with his head stuck at the center of storm shelter doors, in the film’s most creative demise.

The rest of runtime is dedicated the others looking for him, then trying to summon rescue before they are fishing-lined and pitchforked to death in effectively gruesome ways. The FX work is actually some of the best of its era and were the budget further north, perhaps this could’ve been something of a mini-classic, with nice photography, an unsettlingly secluded locus, and decent performances from the small cast.

the slayer 1982 carol kottenbrook

Those looking for Friday the 13th-type thrills should be warned that this one really takes the concept of slow burn and runs with it slowly. Well, walks with it. Or crawls on all fours with it. Whatever, it’s a slowie.

Blurb-of-interest: J.S. Cardone wrote the Prom Night and Stepfather remakes.

Hairy Macho Bullshit

tenebrae 1982

TENEBRAE

3.5 Stars  1982/18/107m

“…Terror beyond belief.”

A.k.a. Unsane

Director/Writer: Dario Argento / Cast: Anthony Franciosa, Dario Nicolodi, Giuliano Gemma, John Saxon, John Steiner, Veronica Lario, Carola Stagnaro, Marino Mase, Lara Wendel.

Body Count: 12

Laughter Lines: “Male heroes… with their hairy, macho bullshit.”


My favourite of Argento’s more slasher-tilted films, reportedly written on the back of his own experience with a stalker.

Franciosa is famed American writer, Peter Neal, who is promoting his latest novel, Tenebrae, in Rome, with help from his kitschy agent Saxon, his personal assistant Anne, and a young intern.

No sooner does he step off the plane than a series gruesome razorblade murders commences, each one based on incidents from the titular book. Peter takes along his young protege to investigate and potential suspect and the mystery thickens to the point where it’s entirely possible that there are several independent killers at work.

The giallo touches are played to the hilt, with archetypal Argento camera work, and the black-gloved maniac creeping around off camera. Memorable moments include a sticky severing of an arm via axe blow, and a gory end to the eventual killer thanks to a pointy piece of modern art.

tenebrae 1982

As usual, beautiful young women are the primary targets for the razor-flashing loon, who cuts and slashes his way through several semi-clad babes, one of whom is a journalist known to Peter, who states that his work is sexist and that women are portrayed only as victims. Her murder, therefore, seems more than a little mean-spirited and a possible dig at feminists who have voiced concerns over Argento’s earlier output.

The slight distractions swept aside, this one is up there.

Blurbs-of-interest: Argento’s other slashy exploits include Deep Red, PhenomenaSleeplessTrauma, and Opera. Of these, his one-time wife Daria is in Phenomena and Opera; John Saxon was in A Nightmare on Elm Street‘s and 3, plus Wes Craven’s New Nightmare, and also Black ChristmasWelcome to Spring BreakThe Baby Doll Murders; John Steiner was later in Camping Del Terrore.

A Dribbling Mess

nightmares in a damaged brain 1981

NIGHTMARES IN A DAMAGED BRAIN

2.5 Stars  1981/X/100m

“The nightmare you can’t escape alive.”

A.k.a. NightmareBlood Splash

Director/Writer: Romano Scavolini / Cast: Baird Stafford, Sharon Smith, Mik Cribben, C.J. Cooke, Danny Rosnan, William Milling.

Body Count: 8

Laughter Lines: “You lose a dangerously psychotic patient from a secret experimental drug programme and all you can say is ‘I’m sorry’!?”


This one was notable for resulting in the imprisonment of its UK distributor after an uncensored version found its way on to video store shelves at the height of the 80s Video Nasty extravaganza.

Extra credit for trying to make a bit of sense out of the killer’s madness, but on the whole this is a bit of a boring picture, sensationalised because some of its violence excesses, often incorrectly credited to Tom Savini, who just advised the production on a few things.

George Tatum is a mental patient taunted by a recurring nightmare (actually a memory), who is being mentally reconstructed by a group of doctors using experimental drugs. When he is released back into society, he can’t handle any situations that relate to his dream, and runs away to track down his ex-wife and three really annoying children, who scream at one another far more than any of George’s victims.

nightmares in a damaged brain 1981

Things are cranked into Halloween gear when he murders the babysitter and comes after his kids. We are finally treated to the full uncut memory as he recalls gruesomely doing away with a hooker and his father when he caught them in the act as a boy, lopping off the woman’s head with an axe in slo-mo, then burying the hatchet in his bound-to-the-bed dad’s head. This blood-soaked scene, shot with a concerning almost sexual nuance, will most certainly be the one that earned the film its ban.

Shades of Problem Child dominate the rest of it with the fucking punchable C.J., all leading to a callous Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter-style last final shot.

Slashdance

maniac 1980

MANIAC

2.5 Stars  1980/X/85m

“I warned you not to go out tonight.”

Director: William Lustig / Writers: C.A. Rosenberg, Joe Spinell / Cast: Joe Spinell, Caroline Munro, Gail Lawrence, Kelly Piper, Rita Mantone, Tom Savini, Hyla Marrow.

Body Count: 7


“She’s a maniac, maaaaniac on the floor, and she’s dancing like she’s never danced before…” go the lyrics to Michael Sembello’s 1983 #1 hit from Flashdance, but it was originally penned for this grimy little flick, with the lyrics understandably altered from “He’s a maniac, maaaaniac that’s for sure, he’ll kill your cat and nail it to the door.”

Despite an impressive 6.5 on IMDb and some inventively gruesome FX work from Tom Savini (who later suggested be might’ve gone ‘too far’ with some of it), I’ve never really liked much about this depressing release, which would pair well with Don’t Go in the House. Less a straight-up slasher flick, more of a serial killer pic, in which Spinnell (who co-wrote and financed with his earnings from Cruising) is a schizophrenic madman who slashes, garrottes, and skewers his mostly young female victims, and keeps mannequins around his apartment that wear the dead girls’ scalps as wigs.

Between some extremely drawn out sequences of stalking and slashing, Spinell is nothing short of excellent as the perverse, slobbering killer terrorising New York City, in much the same way as Lustig’s later creation Matt Cordell would in Maniac Cop. The always lovely Munro – then wife of large financier Judd Hamilton – is a fashion photographer who dates him a couple times (if you believe that!) before he turns on her, but her role is minimal and she’s not really the heroine she would normally be set up as.

maniac 1980

The film has something to say about the people we fear without being too patronising, instead substituting much if the usually dull psychobabble with the grotesque slaughters of five women and two men, with the infamous shotgun/exploding head gag that caused Gene Siskel to walk out of the screening. The film was cut to shreds in various regional releases and refused a rating in the UK, eventually seeping through with about a minute of cuts in the early 2000s.

A strange picture to be sure, but an interesting one if you can look past some of the repulsions that plague the otherwise incisive script. Spinell started work on a sequel, which would never be finished due to his death at 52 in 1989.

Blurbs-of-interest: Munro and Spinell worked together again in 1983’s The Last Horror Film; she was also in Slaughter High and Don’t Open Till Christmas; Lustig later directed the Maniac Cop trilogy and Uncle Sam; the film was remade/re-imagined in 2012 with Elijah Wood.

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