Tag Archives: Friday the 13th

VIP’s of Slasherdom: Maddy

I’ve always loved a bespectacled girl, but in film, that just means A). she can’t see shit without her glasses or B). all she needs to do to go from plain to pretty is take off said glasses and shake her hair out a bit.

In Friday the 13th Part VII, such an arc is followed by Maddy (Diana Barrows), one of the nicer party guests at the cabin on the shores of Crystal Lake. When she voices her liking for a handsome stoner dude, her ‘best friend’ Robin tells her she needs “a little touch up work.”

So Maddy goes from this:

maddy friday the 13th part vii the new blood 1988 diana barrows

To this:

maddy friday the 13th part vii the new blood 1988 diana barrows

…but immediately goes outside to look for stoner dude (without any evidence he’d be out there) and is killed by Jason, who becomes the only person to see her rocking her new lewk.

Status: Standard DUFF in her group of friends. Everyone likes her ‘as a person’ though.

Hidden talent: Tina might be the psychic, but it was Maddy had the foresight to pack sexy clothes before she hatched the plan to give herself an aesthetic upgrade.

Why we love her: Everyone loves a trier, and slasher films of later years gave up including sympathetic characters whose gruesome deaths we’d actually feel some sense of loss over.

Guess Who

Some slasher movies go the Michael Myers route of the audience knowing who the killer is from the off, others opt for a classic cloak and dagger whodunit mystery. Sometimes, these are dead easy to suss out (*cough* Prom Night *cough*), sometimes friends or reviews inadvertently blah (cheers, Ian, for clueing me in on who was the Parka loon from Urban Legend), and sometimes they try to fool us.

Obvious spoilers follow…

All-American Murder (1991)

Downgrade student Charlie Schlatter sees his uptown girlfriend burned alive and becomes the main suspect in a series of murders around campus. But who is doing it? In a twist I never saw coming, it is the ‘dead’ girlfriend, who burned up some poor other girl in order to operate off-radar. Even Christopher Walken didn’t figure that one out.

Difficulty of mystery: 88%

*

D-Tox (1999)

christopher fulford d-tox 2001

Who is killing off the traumatised cops in a remote wilderness rehab center? Will it be the token British guy? Why yes, it will.

Difficulty of mystery: 7% – if there’s a British character, it’ll be the British character.

*

Deadly Blessing (1981)

Sharon Stone and the girl who played Patti Simcox in Grease go to visit their recently widowed gal-pal at her farm on the borders of a sub-Amish community, where somebody is killing off the locals. Is it The Incubus that the Hittite community accuse widow lady of being? Why no, it’s the boy-raised-as-a-girl from the farm next door. Didn’t see that coming.

Difficulty of mystery: 74%

*

Death Bell (2008)

This Korean flick uses the supposition that, as an Asian horror movie, it’ll be the ghost of some long-haired girl killing off students at an academic sit-in for the top performing kids of a Seoul high school. Grades are everything, so it could be anyone.

The Ace here is not who the killer is, but who it’s been all along, which comes out of left field but is awesome nonetheless.

Difficulty of mystery: 89%

*

Fatal Games (1983)

fatal games 1983 sally kirkland

There aren’t a whole lotta seeds planted for you to guess who the mystery javelin-wielding killer after youthful athletes is, but at the same time given that top-billed Sally Kirkland doesn’t have a whole lot of meat to her role, it becomes kinda obvious near the end that she’s going to get to ‘flex some acting muscle’ at some point.

This was actually lost on me though, because I had no idea what she looked like when I first saw it and thought the killer was going to be the lesbian swim coach.

Difficulty of mystery: 53%

*

Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985)

friday the 13th part v a new beginning 1985 dick wieand

I’d not seen The Final Chapter at the point I slotted this VHS into the machine so assumed it was just going to be a standard Jason venture. BUT NO. There is a mystery killer pretending to be Jason. Who is it? Lordy, they could not make it more obvious if they tried. Still, I was all “WTF is going on??” when this random dude was lying dead on the ground. It’s probably why I don’t hate the movie though.

Difficulty of mystery: 2%

*

Girls Nite Out (1982)

There are so many viable suspects here that the killer, when identified, is pretty out of the blue, but given the big traumatic-past-event story, looking for a character the right age to be involved narrows the field significantly (see also: The Prowler), so it should be no surprise. That the film ends as soon as the fiend is revealed is lame though.

Difficulty of mystery: 66%

*

Happy Death Day (2017)

happy death day 2017

Who is killing Tree over and over and over and over as she’s stuck in a time loop? Only time will tell. And tell again. Actually, it’s fairly obvious given that the film almost deliberately chooses to focus away from the character, the same method used in Broadchurch and I figured that shit out!

Difficulty of mystery: 57%

*

Harper’s Island (2009)

Thirteen episodes sees a wedding party and a few locals burned, skewered, propellered, and crushed to death – but who is behind it all? I had a few guesses throughout, especially the guy who ‘died’ in a random accident rather than a homicide. But it wasn’t him. It was the groom, hidden by a series of deliberate misdirections.

Difficulty of mystery: 91%

*

House of Death (1981)

Less an unmasking than a roulette wheel spin that lands on a random guy, who has no concrete motive provided in the matter of seconds during which we see his face, a flashback that tells us nothing, and then he’s dead.

Difficulty of mystery: Void.

*

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

Like the way Mrs Voorhees shows up for the first time at the end of Friday the 13th and just is the killer, Ben Willis doesn’t put in an appearance (unmasked anyway) before Julie figures out he’s the killer, so he never really appeared on the line-up of suspects beforehand.

Difficulty of mystery: 49%

*

The Initiation (1983)

the initiation 1983 daphne zuniga

Daphne Zuniga is a college girl with no memory of anything before age nine who begins experiencing weird occurrences in the run up to her final initiation into the Delta Rho Chi sorority. It’s likely to be the mystery individual who has broken out of an institute. But who is it? WHOOOOO?

The film toys with a lot of Freudian blah, Daphne’s little trances when she looks in a mirror, and ultimately we find out if her EVIL TWIN SISTER, who intends to kill her and take over her life!

Difficulty of mystery: 78%

*

Intruder (1988)

A review I read of Intruder stated that the killer was Jennifer’s ex-boyfriend and saw the film early enough in my genre interest that I didn’t figure it was all a ruse.

Difficulty of mystery: 59%

*

Lovers Lane (1999)

lovers lane 1999 sarah lancaster

The local teens are being hunted by a hooded, hook-handed killer in this Scream / Last Summer cash-in, which tells us it’s the recently escaped guy who killed the final girl’s mom and the final boy’s dad thirteen years earlier, only for it to be a father-daughter killing team instead, using his escape as the perfect patsy for their own revenge for, it seems, a bad break-up.

Difficulty of mystery: 55%

*

Mischief Night (2014)

A babysitter is tormented by a masked killer who is about to stab her and then… stops. He can’t do it, she’s different. They bond. They screw. What the fuck is going on? Is this even a slasher film??

Turns out the handful of victims we attributed to the intruder were in fact the babysitter’s kills, all to get the attention of some guy. She’s a regular bunny boiler. I totally did not see this coming.

Difficulty of mystery: 70%

*

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

my bloody valentine 1981 neil affleck

All write-ups of My Bloody Valentine I scoured before seeing it just went with the escaped-lunatic-returns-to-town explanation, so I thought we were dealing with Harry Warden from the off and was confused when TJ pulls off the miner’s mask and it’s… Axel!?

Difficulty of mystery: 62%

*

The Pool (2001)

There’s little mystery to this cross-European effort shot in Prague with teens from an international high school celebrating their finals by partying after hours at a water park, where a skull-masked dude with a machete chops, skewers, and – in the most memorable scene – sticks his blade through the bottom of a waterslide.

With American, German, Czech, Australian, and British characters in the roster, who do you think it’s going to be? Yes, the British guy. Again.

Difficulty of mystery: 12%

*

The Prowler (1981)

A teen couple are slain after their graduation dance in 1945. The dance is banned forever. Well, 35 years. Come 1980 the nasty soldier-of-doom is back with various sharp things to kill anew.

Seeing as there are only two characters old enough to have been of age at the time of the first killings, it’s really no surprise when the Sheriff is unmasked by the boring final girl at the end.

Difficulty of mystery: 19%

*

Psycho II (1983)

Is Norman Bates up to his old tricks after finally being released from the asylum? Motel managers disappear, sexy teens are attacked by a woman in a long dress with a big knife, Lila Crane is making trouble…

But it turns out the kind little ol’ lady from the diner is the one doing it, convinced she’s Norman’s real mother and defending him from all those intent on making his return to society miserable. Her motive is all undone come Psycho III though, so she wasted everyone’s time.

Difficulty of mystery: 85%

*

The Scream series (1997-2011)

scream killers

I fell for Billy’s little act and never considered a second killer in the first one; In Scream 2 I figured out Mickey quite easily but had ignored Debbie entirely – which is weird as everyone else I’ve ever chatted to about it guessed her and not Mickey; Scream 3 was ruined by a book about the series I flicked through shortly before its UK release; Everyone was supposing Jill was behind the mask in 4 but it passed me by.

Difficulty of mystery: 73%

*

Slaughter Studios (2002)

This so-so budget affair is elevated by some creatively gruesome deaths and the gag that the homeless guy a group of amateur filmmakers scare away when they break into a soon-to-be razed movie studio is the one who knocks them off!

Difficulty of mystery: 96%

*

The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014)

the town that dreaded sundown 2014 spencer treat clark joshua leonard

Ryan Murphy-produced sort-of sequel, sort-of remake to the 1976 dramatization of the unsolved Texarkana killings of 1946 is a clever concept for the most part. When I recently re-watched it, I’d forgotten who the killer even was, and surprised (again) that the first victim/final girl’s boyfriend wasn’t dead at all, and that he’d faked it all to pretty much move away. Like, rent a U-Haul, dude. There’s another killer too.

Difficulty of mystery: 67%

*

Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000)

urban legends final cut 2000 hart bochner

There are so many suspects in Final Cut that the revelation that Hart Bochner’s Professor is the killer kinda just results in an “Oh, OK, fine,” response, because they’ve left so many potential red herrings alive for the climax that the huge twist promised by the producers way back when it was announced probably just meant “we’ve got 9 possible killers – no one will ever guess!”

Difficulty of mystery: 59%

*

For the record, the academic book Games of Terror gave away the killers in Friday the 13thProm NightHappy Birthday to MeGraduation Day, and the ‘revelations’ in Hell Night and Terror Train (the latter would’ve probably fooled me though). A friend of mine inadvertently gave away whodunit in Urban Legend as well (but that was quite obvious, right?)

Jason and the Boys

A lot is made about final girls here, there and everywhere, but less so about final boys, who are a rarer creature.

In terms of the biggest slasher franchise, quite a few young men have actually made it out intact alongside the Ginnys, Chrises, and Trishes. Yup, let’s pay tribute to the Final Boys of Friday the 13th

*

paul holt john furey friday the 13th part 2 1981

Paul Holt (John Furey)

Does Paul survive Jason’s debut rampage at the counsellor training camp in Part 2? Who knows? Nobody it seems, almost 40 years on there’s been no definitive answer. Rumours that John Furey walked off the set before he could shoot his final scenes have since been denied by everyone involved, so it’s likely it will remain a legend, Ginny …a legend.

*

tommy jarvis corey feldman friday the 13th the final chapter 1984

Tommy Jarvis (Corey Feldman)

Nobody with a Y chromosome definitively survived Friday the 13th‘s Parts 13 and it’s therefore quite interesting that the first male to escape death at the hands of the J-man (or his mom) was a 12-year-old. Hmm.

Horror freak and hobby crafty Tommy – reportedly an homage to make-up king Tom Savini – is quick to suss out a way to fool Jason, thus saving his sister and himself from the business end of a machete.

*

tommy jarvis john shepherd friday the 13th part v a new beginning 1985

Tommy Jarvis 2.0 (John Shepherd)

Some years after the events of The Final Chapter, a still traumatised Tommy is sent off to a youth clinic where a ghoul in a hockey mask begins laying waste to the other residents. In spite of his demons, Tommy has clearly found the time to put in a lot of work at the gym. Despite being the lead, Shepherd mutters only 22 words over the course of the whole film.

*

reggie shavar ross friday the 13th part v a new beginning 1985

Reggie the Reckless (Shavar Ross)

A visitor to the Pinehurst clinic of A New Begininng, Reggie is a bright spot in this much-hated entry: A sassy little kid, possibly a proxy for younger Tommy, who takes on the “mystery killer” with a construction vehicle, but also serves to get manhandled a lot so Tommy, or heroine Pam, can attack the killer as they free him.

*

tommy jarvis thom mathews friday the 13th part vi jason lives 1986

Tommy Jarvis 3.0 (Thom Mathews)

Mathews took over the role for Jason Lives an unspecified amount of time after Part V‘s events, though I tend to see most timelines put him around age 25. Figuring that the only way to banish Jason from his head once and for all is to burn his corpse, he inadvertently ends up resurrecting him and, actually, being responsible for the scores of murders that follow over the ensuing films. Way to go, Tom.

*

nick kevin blair spirtas friday the 13th part vii the new blood 1988

Nick (Kevin Spirtas)

Party guest at his cousin’s failed surprise birthday bash in The New Blood, Nick rebuffs the come-ons of bitchy Melissa to fall for telekinetic girl-next-door Tina, who has just resurrected Jason from his watery grave. He doesn’t do a whole lot to help put him back, but of the Crystal Lake FB’s he’s easily the one you’d never get bored of staring at.

*

sean scott reeves friday the 13th part viii jason takes manhattan 1989

Sean Robertson (Scott Reeves)

If you and your graduating class got a celebratory cruise to New York City, would you really want to go on your dad’s vessel? No, but Sean is a good son who can’t live up to pop’s expectations, but is forced to take the captain’s role when Jason bloodlessly hacks his way through everybody else on the ship.

Nod also to Toby the dog, who survives the carnage!

*

steven freeman jon d. lemay jason goes to hell the final friday 1993

Steven Freeman (John D. LeMay)

Unwitting nephew-by-marriage of Jason Voorhees, Steven also has no clue he’s a father until his ex rocks back into town with their baby, just as a resurrected-through-other-bodies Jason is also planning a homecoming, culminating in a fierce battle for the soul of the surviving members of the Voorhees bloodline to send Jason to hell. He’s one of the few characters ever to wear glasses and not die (although he loses them part way through).

LeMay is notable for having played a different role in the unrelated Friday the 13th TV series.

*

tsunaron chuck campbell jason x 2001

Tsunaron (Chuck Campbell)

Intergalactic student from the year 2455, Tsunaron’s survival in Jason X is a bit of an afterthought as, unlike most other final guys in the franchise, he’s neither related to nor romantically involved with the final girl, and kind of just happens to be in the right place at the right time. His love for android Kay-Em might qualify I guess, as she technically survives, albeit as a decapitated robot head.

*

will jason ritter freddy vs jason 2003

Will Rollins (Jason Ritter)

Institutionalized Springwood teen Will exists on a diet of Hypnocil and refusing to deny the truth of Freddy Krueger. But when his love Lori finds herself at the centre of Jason’s reign of terror – orchestrated by Krueger – Will breaks out to rescue her, and the two of them end up as the last kids standing in the crossfire of their battle.

*

clay miller jared padalecki friday the 13th 2009

Clay Miller (Jared Padalecki)

Supernatural star Padalecki had already done House of Wax and Cry_Wolf before landing the role of lead guy in the 2009 Friday reboot, which sees him frantically searching for his missing sister, Whitney, employing the help of Crystal Lake vacationer, Jenna, while following clues and discovering the legend of Jason Voorhees is true!

Well done guys, you all made it! Except maybe you, Paul : /

Leslie Vernon: The London Years. Mate.

unmasked part 25 1988

UNMASKED PART 25

2.5 Stars  1988/18/85m

“A face only a blind girl could love!”

A.k.a. The Hand of Death Part 25: Jackson’s Back

Director: Anders Palm / Cast: Gregory Cox, Fiona Evans, Edward Brayshaw, Debbie Lee London, Kim Fenton, Howard Martin, Lucy Hornak, Steve Dixon, Marie Kelly, Anna Conrich, Robin Welch, Gary Brown, Annabel Yuresha, Helen Rochelle, Adrian Hough.

Body Count: 16

Laughter Lines: “No sense bothering to run. You’ll get ten feet maybe, run into a branch or stumble over a root…”


This weird satire is like a late-80s British version of Behind the Mask, with Cox as a Jason-esque hockey masked killer who stalks the streets of London, killing young people, until he meets Shelley, last girl at the house party he’s just torn through, who is blind and thinks he’s the date she was waiting on.

Jackson and Shelley begin to date and he tells her of his love of Byron, having read books he took from the bodies of camp counsellors he slayed in America before returning home. They try kinky sexy in a truly weird scene, go to the park, dine together, and she wants to introduce him to her (surviving) friends, which touches a nerve.

unmasked part 25 1988

Jackson’s destitute father reminds him he is a freak whose only purpose is to kill and kill and kill until Jackson succumbs to the pressure, tells Shelley not to attend a party at a country house, and turns up instead to pitchfork, skewer, cleave, and slash the attendees.

Evident budget constraints leave this film looking like an overlong sketch show skit, which is only bookended by Jackson’s killing sprees, which are liberally gory, and the actors conform to quite 19th century stereotypes in terms of their “cor blimey, guv’nor” accents and utterances, except Shelley who is well spoken enough to be a royal.

unmasked part 25

Some amusing insights into stalk n’ slash conventions and a couple of inventive murder setups (a girl offers the killer a blow job to spare her and receives a shattered lightbulb on a lamp base in the mouth instead), plus some frontal male nudity (!) are all mildly diverting aspects, but everything between the first and last fifteen minutes tends to drag.

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