Tag Archives: Euro-horror

Hairy Macho Bullshit

tenebrae 1982

TENEBRAE

3.5 Stars  1982/18/107m

“…Terror beyond belief.”

A.k.a. Unsane

Director/Writer: Dario Argento / Cast: Anthony Franciosa, Dario Nicolodi, Giuliano Gemma, John Saxon, John Steiner, Veronica Lario, Carola Stagnaro, Marino Mase, Lara Wendel.

Body Count: 12

Laughter Lines: “Male heroes… with their hairy, macho bullshit.”


My favourite of Argento’s more slasher-tilted films, reportedly written on the back of his own experience with a stalker.

Franciosa is famed American writer, Peter Neal, who is promoting his latest novel, Tenebrae, in Rome, with help from his kitschy agent Saxon, his personal assistant Anne, and a young intern.

No sooner does he step off the plane than a series gruesome razorblade murders commences, each one based on incidents from the titular book. Peter takes along his young protege to investigate and potential suspect and the mystery thickens to the point where it’s entirely possible that there are several independent killers at work.

The giallo touches are played to the hilt, with archetypal Argento camera work, and the black-gloved maniac creeping around off camera. Memorable moments include a sticky severing of an arm via axe blow, and a gory end to the eventual killer thanks to a pointy piece of modern art.

tenebrae 1982

As usual, beautiful young women are the primary targets for the razor-flashing loon, who cuts and slashes his way through several semi-clad babes, one of whom is a journalist known to Peter, who states that his work is sexist and that women are portrayed only as victims. Her murder, therefore, seems more than a little mean-spirited and a possible dig at feminists who have voiced concerns over Argento’s earlier output.

The slight distractions swept aside, this one is up there.

Blurbs-of-interest: Argento’s other slashy exploits include Deep Red, PhenomenaSleeplessTrauma, and Opera. Of these, his one-time wife Daria is in Phenomena and Opera; John Saxon was in A Nightmare on Elm Street‘s and 3, plus Wes Craven’s New Nightmare, and also Black ChristmasWelcome to Spring BreakThe Baby Doll Murders; John Steiner was later in Camping Del Terrore.

Ne Pas Avoir D’enfants

inside

INSIDE

3.5 Stars  2007/18/79m

“Don’t let her inside.”

Directors: Julien Maury & Alexandre Bustillo / Cast: Beatrice Dalle, Alysson Paradis, Nathalie Roussel, Francois-Regis Marchasson, Ludovic Berthillot, Emmanuel Lanzi, Nicolas Davauchelle, Aymen Saidi.

Body Count: 8


Here’s a weird failure – I watched this back in 2010 and obviously thought I’d added it to the site at the time, as my go-to wad of notes just says: “see hudsonlee.com”. Spoilers!

Soooo, this’ll be an awkward review as I don’t remember a whole lot about it beyond it being ridonkulously violent and gruesome, as – Wikipedia tells me – Vanessa Paradis’ youngser sister is an about-to-pop mom, whose husband died in the car crash she survived some months earlier.

Now, on Christmas Eve, a mystery woman shows up at her door asking to use the phone. Pregnant lady – Sarah – declines and when the woman gets weird, Sarah takes her photo through the window and from that, works out she’s been being stalked by this broad for some time.

Various other people find reasons to show up: A co-worker, Sarah’s mother, police, and crazy lady dispatches them all with knitting needles n’ such until the two go at it, and it’s revealed that crazy lady was in the other car and lost her baby, so now wants Sarah’s.

If you thought Haute Tension was going mental on the gross-o-meter, give this a spin. I’ve said it before and will again, but masses of blood doesn’t a great move make, and while Inside packs a lot of tension and a nail-biting dilemma, I’ve never wanted to see it again in the decade that has elapsed, so maybe it’s a good thing I’ve forgotten much of it.

Daddy Issues

trauma 1993TRAUMA

3 Stars  1993/18/102m

“Some nightmare haunt you. Some can kill you.”

Director/Writer: Dario Argento / Writers: T.E.D. Klein, Franco Ferrrini & Gianni Romoli / Cast: Asia Argento, Christopher Rydell, Piper Laurie, Frederic Forrest, James Russo, Brad Dourif, Hope Alexander-Willis, Cory Garvin.

Body Count: 11


Disclaimer: Giallo is not a horror sub-genre I’m that familiar with. I spin the more slasher-esque films and generally like them, but don’t get all angry if I don’t fall over myself screaming their praises. I can hear my Italian grandmother rolling in her grave.

The archetypal Argento excesses of gore and sex are somewhat played down in this later venture, a confusing flick shot in Minneapolis and starring his daughter, Asia, as an anorexic teenager named Aura, who escapes from the clinic where she’s being treated and returns home on the night her parents are beheaded by a loon known oh-so-subtley as the Headhunter.

Aura is taken in by TV crewmember David, and together they embark on solving the cases ahead of the cops (a-head of. LOL. LOL. LOLLYMCLOLLOL). The killer – who uses a retracting wire device that nearly squeezes the heads off of his quarry – is after the group of nurses and doctor who are hiding a bad secret. As usual, sexy long-haired women are the chief victims of the killer’s fury and most of the unlucky victims who get in his way are also female.

trauma 1993

The eventual revelation of who it is and why wraps up some of the hanging questions, but Trauma changes its mind several times and doesn’t bother dropping any hints or building of its backstory until it’s absolutely necessary, because the killer is now unmasked and, well, people wanna know, yo.

All the same, Argento’s signature directorial approach is played to the hilt, with flawlessly engaging photography throughout (yeah, that head down the shaft is… well… you’ll see), although why he chooses to shoot his own daughter topless is a curiosity best not speculated upon ’round these parts.

The same highs of Tenebrae and Opera aren’t hit, but definitely an engaging flick and one of the few high-end 90s body count films that came before Scream.

Blurbs-of-interest: Argento’s other slasher-esque films include Deep RedOperaPhenomena (a.k.a. Creepers), Sleepless, and Tenebrae; Brad Dourif was the voice of Chucky in all original run Child’s Play films and the TV series, and is also in Chain LetterColor of NightDead ScaredUrban Legend, and both of Rob Zombie’s Halloween movies.

Anyone for a game of Operation?

anatomy 2000

ANATOMY

4 Stars  2000/18/95m

“They can’t wait to get their hands on you…”

Director/Writer: Stefan Ruzowitzky / Cast: Franka Potente, Sebastian Blomberg, Benno Furmann, Anna Loos, Traugott Buhre, Holger Speckhahn, Arndt Schwering-Sonhey, Oliver K. Wnuk.

Body Count: 7


A classy medical slasher that’s one part Urban Legend, one part 70s thriller Coma, that gets a lot of mileage out of creepy settings and questionable characters. Some spoilers follow.

Pre-big-role Franka Potente is super-smart Paula Henning, who wins a place at the Heidelberg University, against her doctor father’s wishes. She becomes suspicious when a classmate with a rare heart condition ends up on her slab with a gum-like blood consistency.

After some covert investigation, she uncovers the secretive Anti-Hippocratic Society, an ancient order she thinks is experimenting on still-alive subjects with rare disorders to get a better insight into the diseases that will soon claim their victim’s life. Poking around in their affairs soon leads to threats on her life, with a creepy blood candle under her bed. Her new friends think she’s paranoid, or taking the presence of the AHS too seriously.

anatomie 2000

Anatomy changes tack slightly as it goes, keeping its body count fairly low in the first half and once a revelation is made that pretty much changes everything, the film becomes less of a conspiracy sect-against-honourable-doctor thriller and side-steps into slasher territory as it transpires the society is pretty much benevolent save for a couple of rogue doctors who aren’t playing by the rules. But who?

Once identities begin to be revealed, there’s a great but short chase scene where a fleeing victim is injected with the formula that turns blood to gum. As she runs, she flops and begins to seize up, left to crawl inch by inch towards sanctuary. Later on, Paula engages in cat and mouse theatrics with the scalpel-wielding killer, which features a great moment with those library shelves on rails that can be cranked and moved.

anatomy 2000

Meanwhile, the second killer, injected with the gum-stuff, desperately tries to find saline to reverse the effect. It’s excruciating as his functions slow down and he can’t get the needle to the vein in time. These scenes amp up what could’ve been a rather mediocre medical chiller, marinading it in a savagery that is offset by a little random comedy.

A understatedly fine affair, with interesting characters (Loos’ party girl with a sky-high IQ is great), upmarket production quality, and some great tension on both sides of the battle, which makes for that rare critter: A rather intelligent slasher pic. Followed by a sequel I’ve not seen, that sounds like it wouldn’t be reviewed here.

anatomy 2000 franka potente

Blurbs-of-interest: A very different looking Potente took final girl duties again in Creep.

The Dog’s Bollocks

wilderness 2006

WILDERNESS

4 Stars  2006/15/91m

“It’s not about revenge. It’s about punishment.”

Director: Michael J. Bassett / Writer: Dario Poloni / Cast: Sean Pertwee, Alex Reid, Toby Kebbell, Stephen Wright, Lenora Crichlow, Luke Neal, Ben McKay, Karly Greene, Adam Deacon, Richie Campbell, Stephen Don.

Body Count: 11

Laughter Lines: “So you want me to go out there alone to find another guy out there’s alone, when nobody’s supposed to go out there alone?”


Bollocks = slang term for testicles; also slang for an untruth or lie; The Dog’s Bollocks = something awesome, based on concept that if a dog can lick his own bollocks, they must be tasty.

Coming along during a little renaissance of gritty British horror (28 Days Later…Dog SoldiersThe Descent, and the same director’s Deathwatch), this grisly Anglo/Irish sibling of Wrong Turn with a side of The Final Terror, sees a group of youth detention / juvie hall lads packed off to a remote island for ‘character building’ after their campaign of relentless bullying ends with the suicide of a weaker dorm mate.

Caught up in the blame is newcomer Callum (Kebbell), who just wants to keep his head down, do his time, and live his life, but Hitler Youth type Steve is keen to be as disruptive as possible, much to the chagrin of grizzled guard Jed (Pertwee, givin’ all that). Despite the island being ‘uninhabited’, the group run into a similar outing from a girls’ reform school, with ex-soldier Louise (Reid, from The Descent) leading two wayward girls through the forest. There’s also a reclusive hobo about, who is soon found with his throat chewed out – last person seen stood over the body? Callum.

wilderness 2006 sean pertwee

Only Louise considers that something else is going on, but everyone else is quickly convinced when another of the group disappears, save for a bitten off arm, and Jed is crossbowed to a tree, while a quartet of attack dogs sprint on to the scene and eat him alive. It soon becomes clear somebody is taking revenge for the juvie hall suicide, and has a degree of military training on his side.

wilderness 2006 sean pertwee

The teens are soon on their own, fighting with each other, switching allegiances, and dodging the savage dogs. Callum goes all Lord of the Flies crazy, while Steve is shunned by the others for his selfishness and inability to contribute in any positive way, which results in him killing his only friend. It eventually all comes down to Callum versus the vengeful psychopath, who is an interesting flip on the Mrs Voorhees template. A further minor twist thrown in to give the second survivor something to do while the big boys fight.

wilderness 2006

Wilderness was moderately pre-cut for language to avoid an 18 certificate, but the liberal bloodletting was left intact, which is a surprise given we have people ripped apart by dogs, decapitated, immolated, and falling face first into bear traps. It’s all gruesome stuff, offset by the fact that most of the characters aren’t written much beyond their criminal archetypes, so their sticky demises aren’t particularly undeserved. Louise is the exception in the film, demonstrating smarts and concern for her charges – so it’s obvious she won’t make it out – while some of the young cast members are a bit too well-spoken to convince as thuggish dog fodder.

wilderness 2006 stephen wight

These minor flaws aside, Wilderness holds its own in the brutality stakes. It’s a kick-ass little venture that pretty much went under the radar upon release. Contemporaneous reviews were lukewarm at best and it’s easy to understand why the po-faced, blood-splattered look of it wouldn’t go down with critics as well as, say, Severance, which employed comedy as a bedfellow to its horrors. I prefer this approach though.

wilderness 2006 alex reid toby kebbell

Blurbs-of-interest: Pertwee was in Botched; Adam Deacon was later in Comedown.

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